Most days I spent furtively trying to remember what it is I am trying to remember. Simple tasks, like making a grocery list can become overwhelming because by the time I grab a pad and paper I’ve forgotten two of the three things I am trying to write down.
I can’t even make lists anymore. I know there are things I need to do and that I should make a list of them but right now the only one that springs to mind is:
Get a job.
Which is a whole ‘nuther kettle of burnt popcorn. My resume needs updating and I’m terrified to look at it because if I can’t even pay attention to a three page online article, how am I going to fix my boring resume? And my linkin profile is HORRIBLE but I am afraid of it.
Right now just the process of trying to write because I told myself I was going to start blogging daily and I haven’t. . . is uncomfortable. I feel oh so tired but not sleepy.
Maybe I am sleeping too much. I read parts of an article that said adults may only need 7 hours of sleep a night. Maybe Mom is right that sleeping during the day is not as restful as sleeping at night (although I rather enjoy my day slumbers). Maybe my brain is sugar-deprived.
Maybe it stopped working because I stopped using it. Until recently I had almost completely quit reading and I don’t exactly have intellectual conversations anymore. Don’t really listen to much music, either, come to think of it.
I am trying to read a bit now (there’s a book at the foot of the bed awaiting the cessation of typing) and I listened to Mozart and Bach this week. Maybe if I stopped trying so hard to keep out overly emotional emotions and bad memories and loneliness (or does that fall into the prior category?) then maybe I might be able to connect two synapses together.