you're reading...

I’ve killed my brain; my brain is dead

Most days I spent furtively trying to remember what it is I am trying to remember.  Simple tasks, like making a grocery list can become overwhelming because by the time I grab a pad and paper I’ve forgotten two of the three things I am trying to write down.

I can’t even make lists anymore.  I know there are things I need to do and that I should make a list of them but right now the only one that springs to mind is:

Get a job.

Which is a whole ‘nuther kettle of burnt popcorn.  My resume needs updating and I’m terrified to look at it because if I can’t even pay attention to a three page online article, how am I going to fix my boring resume?  And my linkin profile is HORRIBLE but I am afraid of it.

Right now just the process of trying to write because I told myself I was going to start blogging daily and I haven’t. . . is uncomfortable.  I feel oh so tired but not sleepy.

Maybe I am sleeping too much.  I read parts of an article that said adults may only need 7 hours of sleep a night.  Maybe Mom is right that sleeping during the day is not as restful as sleeping at night (although I rather enjoy my day slumbers).  Maybe my brain is sugar-deprived.  

Maybe it stopped working because I stopped using it.  Until recently I had almost completely quit reading and I don’t exactly have intellectual conversations anymore.  Don’t really listen to much music, either, come to think of it.

I am trying to read a bit now (there’s a book at the foot of the bed awaiting the cessation of typing) and I listened to Mozart and Bach this week.  Maybe if I stopped trying so hard to keep out overly emotional emotions and bad memories and loneliness (or does that fall into the prior category?) then maybe I might be able to connect two synapses together.


About clocklearf

I've wanted to be a writer since the third grade.


No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: