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Celebrities, Entertainment

Poor Gwyneth!

You know, I am starting to feel a little sorry for Gwyneth Paltrow.
The woman is obviously fighting aging for all her worth and she’s not doing it the lazy way (i.e. plastic surgery). Nope, she’s dieting and exercising and meditating and who knows what else to try to keep herself eternally 25. Despite all that, her husband left her for a younger “model.”
Yep, if rumors are to be believed (and for the purposes of these musings, we’ll go with “yes”) Chris Martin is dating Jennifer Lawrence. The antithesis of Gwyneth Paltrow. The 15-something years younger antithesis of Gwynnie. The internet seems to think it’s a weird match but once I REALLY thought about it (in the shower) I realized Chris Martin is doing what many middle-aged men do.
Jennifer Lawrence is America’s friggin’ sweetheart. When J-Law tells a story about vomiting at a post-Oscars party in front of Miley Cyrus we (Americans) go, “Oh, isn’t she adorable.” Ditto for the butt plug story. Trips and falls (at the Oscars! Twice!). . . she’s just like us! But when G. Paltrow shares an anecdote about juggling her busy schedule (in an attempt to relate to other mothers) we shriek “ELITIST.”

She was recently voted “Most Hated Celebrity.”
I’ve made fun of Paltrow. Just read a list of some of the noxious things she’s said in interviews. For those of us who would love to have a personal trainer and weekly “blow-outs” at the salon her bemoanings are really annoying. But how crappy must it be, after all these years of Stepford wiving, to have your soon-to-be ex running around with Little Miss “I’m so normal I’m fabulous!”
G. Paltrow needs to do what any self-respecting gal would do. She’s need a rebound, STAT! She needs someone guaranteed to make us scratch our heads and think, “What is she doing?” She needs someone that screams “new version” and boy candy.
I think Gwynnie should start hanging out with James Franco.


About clocklearf

I've wanted to be a writer since the third grade.


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